Many people are surprised when I tell them I am an introvert. So much so, that I have actually doubted myself. But I have done a lot of reading and even taken a few test (more than the facebook quizzes) and it is a proven fact, I am in introvert.
“How can you be an introvert you speak in front of people each week?” “You are not an introvert I have seen you host trainings and strategic planning events?” “You are wrong, you are definitely an extrovert I have been to your Christmas parties!” Yep, I have heard them all. But alas, I am an introvert.
I have read an article “24 Signs you’re an Introvert not shy”* and I thought I would compare me and my idiosyncrasies with the list.
1. You Don’t Enjoy Small Talk
I would much rather hold a conversation about something than talk about the weather, the game or the price of gas. I love different points of view. Lets talk about something real. Now that doesn’t mean I can’t “do” small talk. I can fake it. I don’t want people to think I don’t care.
2. You Have a Love-Hate Relationship With Your Phone
I HATE talking on the phone! It is so disconnected. I always wonder if the person is really listening and participating in the conversation on the other end or are they watching tv. I find it impossible just to sit and talk, but I can’t do something else like cook or clean at the same time either….so I pace. I can rake up alot of miles in a 2 hour conversation.
With cell phone, you are expected to be available day and night. Yikes! Not me! I always forget to turn my ringer up or I turn it off while it recharges. My family doesn’t believe that I don’t do this on purpose. I really don’t, it is just not important enough for me to remember to turn up my volume after a meeting or charge my phone mid day when I have a long day. A phone ringing is like finger nails on a chalk board. But if I do take your call and the conversation goes beyond th small talk of the weather, I can talk for hours.
3. You Wait to Text Back
This fact isn’t often true of me. In text messaging, I do tend to reply quickly. Email….it could be 24 hours.
4. You Find Crowds Stressful
I can’t stress this enough. Crowds are energy draining. I have not shopped at a store at Christmas time for at least 7 seven years. I may run in and grab something specific I am looking for, but I try to keep it short and sweet. Then there is the Disney World incident of 2003, but I don’t want to talk about that except to say my husband had to put me in a time out.
5. You’re Not Anti-Social… You’re Selectively Social
My husband and I have been married 20 plus years and never had a lot of couple friends when we were dating or after we were first married. This was hard for both of us and we often referred to ourselves as an island. He is a people person, but was able to get his people time in at work. We met a couple through church about 15 years ago. Our kids were similar ages and had similar interests. And they wouldn’t give up on us (lets face it …me). I even took this couple on a test run overnighter to see if we could “vacation” for a week together when they invited us to a week long beach vacation. I found friends that wouldn’t give up on me and my strangeness, thank goodness. They are two of our best friends still today! It takes me time to warm up to someone. I don’t want to invest time into people that I don’t click with. I am not good at faking friendship. I want to get to know people better before we get too close. So glad to say that the friendships I have allowed to grow are strong and solid! After 20 years, I have a group of REALLY close friends that we can and am willing to share my life with ….the good, the bad, the ugly.
6. You Enjoy Being Out With a Group of People… in Small Doses
A few years ago, my husband and I started hosting parties for our group of friends. It started with a birthday party and grew into a gathering about 4 times a year. I actually look forward to these times now, I honestly never thought I would. This year, I am trying to grow myself and have pledged to double date with one couple a month out to a restaurant!!!! That is huge for me. I actually don’t enjoy eating in front of people (I don’t think that is an introvert thing, I am just weird that way). This is my goal this year to get myself out there with people every month!
7. You Are Extremely Observant and Mindful of Your Surroundings
I love people watching and watching the world. I could sit on a park bench for hours watching life happen.
8. You Unlock Your Heart for Only the Most Special of Souls
I thought I would allow the article to cover this area. It has put it into words better than I ever could.”Introverts are extremely careful in choosing who we allow to see our inner self. Sure, being left open and vulnerable is incredibly frightening for us, but it means we’ve determined the recipient of our affection and attention is worth the risk. That being said, we’re pretty quick in shutting people out when we feel threatened or hurt. We just don’t have the energy for that.”
9. You are Creative
I believe I am creative. I am always looking for new ways to do things. I enjoy re-purposing objects. I just thought that was recycling.
10. You Value Listening… Deeply
I battle on this one at times. I am told I am a great listener. I truly want to connect and understand people, but sometimes I am more apt to respond, most often with a story from my life. “It’s not about me!!” This is a habit I am actually trying to break, but I think it is more about me filling an empty sound space and trying to prove myself and that I understand. When asked for advice, I try to give a thoughtful well- rounded advise more than just they want to hear. My hope that my friends will respond in the same way when I need them and my true friends do – calling me out when I need it!
11. You are Highly Introspective
Highly Introspective – Over Analyzing – same thing, both me!
12. You Think Before You Argue
My husband always accuses me of having a whole conversation in my head before I approach him about a situation. Guilty! It is how I process a situation. I like to have my points set up to deliver rather than be taken by surprise. I truly don’t know or understand any other way.
13. You are Accused of Flirting with Everybody
I am never accused of flirting with anyone, except my husband and that is only 4-5 times a year.
14. You Enjoy Your Time Alone
I do enjoy my time alone. I always feel guilty about saying this. This year I took a “me-cation” and it was the best thing I have done for myself in years!! I was able to relax and take things at my own pace. I drove to Maryland to see my sister. I stopped when I wanted to stop, slept when when I wanted to sleep and ate when and where I wanted to eat. No time table. Not sure what I enjoyed more sitting on my tailgate a national park eating hummus watching the people and the wind in the fields or laying on the hammock in my sister’s backyard reading a book with a glass of wine. Sometimes I just need to get out of my own head, away from schedules and just breathe.
15. You are Rarely Bored
I will sit and binge watch a tv show, but more often than not I try to find a project – making home movie dvds, arranging a photo albums or refinishing the kitchen cabinets (see previous posts).
16. You Don’t Trust Easily
Again I will let the article speak my feelings. “You take your time to observe and really get to know someone before inviting them into your inner circle; but once you have the right people in your life, you don’t hold back and strive to always give the best of yourself.”
17. You Have a Very Small Group of Very Close Friends
I do. It has taken me 20 years to gather them all. But my friends, I also consider my accountability group. Once I finally trust and let someone in to look at my core, it is like a vortex which there is no escape. Sorry guys, I should have warned you.
18. You Fiercely Guard Your Personal Space
In scope – out of Scope a good friend once taught me. Things in-scope get my energy and attention, thing that are out of scope do not. Fairly simple. I value my time and my space and are particular about what I give my attention. Negative people and negative thoughts drain my energy.
19. You are More Comfortable Expressing Yourself in Writing
I take more time and thought when I communicated in writing. It allows me to step back and reread my thoughts and how I want them expressed.
20. You are Great at Getting Stuff Done
I love working alone, I can work with a group but I like brainstorming, outlining, creating a plan and then sharing them with others. Then as a group can decide if they get put into action. I like seeing all the steps so that I can take projects in various directions.
21. You are a Good Judge of Character
I am a reader of non-verbal cues, but now reread #11.
22. You are Great at Making Decisions
I am a pros and cons list task master!! I like to try to see all sides of the coin even the ridgey side.
23. You Retain an Air of Mystery
I have never considered myself mysterious. I would have to let others comment on that.
24. You are A Loyal Friend
Once you are in to quote Meet the Fockers “in the circle of trust” it is hard to get out. I am there for you. I still wait to be invited in, I don’t want to be invasive or pushy.
Please follow the link below to read the full article. I think it may be eye opening and help you to know yourself or someone you love better.